The Accidental Mommy, Part 1

I was told by a pretty competent doctor that I should have a hysterectomy.  ...at age 23.  Criminal, huh?  She had just finished up a laparoscopy and diagnosed me with severe endometriosis.  She said that a hysterectomy was the only way to permanently stop the pain.  I didn't know if I wanted to have kids, so I brought that up.  She curtly explained that with endometriosis like mine there was no way I'd be able to have children.  She said I'd either not be able to conceive or would miscarry.

I didn't have the surgery, but moved forward with the idea that I'd never be a mother.  Deep down I wanted kids, so the fact that I was told I'd never be able to made me bitter.  I was angry towards people who had kids.  I called children "things".  I moved on and did what any self-respecting, supposedly barren woman would do--I treated my dogs like children and focused heavily on my career.

Fast forward 10 years and enter heavy bleeding and cramping.  I thought my endometriosis was back with a vengeance, but the pain was a little different.  My husband and I had been married for about a year.  Off the cuff, I thought that with the severity of my symptoms, maybe I was having a miscarriage.  I took a home pregnancy test.  It was positive.  I scheduled an appointment with my latest doctor--a sweet old guy named Dr. Heaton.  I told his receptionist that I needed to come in because I thought I was having a miscarriage.  It turns out I was right.  I miscarried a twin, but still had a viable pregnancy.  As soon as my husband saw the heartbeat, he burst into tears.  He married me and loved me even though he wanted kids and I told him that wasn't a possibility.

I told the doctor that he had to be wrong--that I couldn't get pregnant.  He just laughed and said that I was mistaken...that I WAS pregnant and to suck it up.  I wasn't excited.  I was freaked out.  When you prepare for a life without kids, even if you want them deep down, the prospect can be a little overwhelming.  I called my dad and said:  I'm too young to have children!  My dad just said, Mary...you're 33, not 16, and I want a grandchild.  Get over it.  Wise words from the grandpa-to-be.