How I Became a Breastfeeding Mother, Part 2

I felt so good when at the week mark Bettie was getting nothing but breastmilk.  I fell into a routine with my pumping, but my supply was still terrible.  I bought Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle and took them until I smelled like maple syrup.  My supply went up a little, but not significantly.  Luckily, my little darling wasn't consuming a great deal because she was small, so even with my supply issues, we were doing just fine, and I was able to stay ahead of the game.

I started feeling more comfortable about pumping and even left the bedroom for the living room.  It's amazing when something like pumping starts to feel so routine you don't even think about it anymore.  I remember one day, sitting in my glider pumping, when the UPS guy came to the door.  Our front door doesn't have much of a curtain, so he got an eye full and I didn't care.  That was a very big, very liberating moment for me.  The poor UPS guy was probably scarred for life!

Adam started referring to me as the "holy cow".  He meant it totally reverently (I keep telling myself).  :)

I was so excited when Bettie came home on day 15 of her life.  I just knew that I'd get her to latch and be done with the pump.  I was so looking forward to snuggling her and having the most amazing breastfeeding and bonding experience.

That's not what happened.  The first time she latched, it was so excruciatingly painful I was in tears.  I met my first lactation consultant at Bettie's first pediatrician's visit.  I was so excited because I just knew that if we had some help, we'd be successful.  The lactation consultant wasn't very friendly and at no time did she touch me or Bettie.  She stood on the sidelines and gave me instructions, but the experience was confusing and wasn't working.  Bettie's latch was still miserable.  She suggested that I keep pumping and told me that because Bettie hadn't been put to the breast early, and had been given bottles since birth, it was unlikely that she'd ever nurse.  That devastated me.  I couldn't believe that something that was so normal and innate to humans could be so permanently damaged that badly by bottles.  She was writing me off.  Instead of accepting that, I looked for help elsewhere.

I work for a company called SAS.  SAS is very family friendly, breastfeeding friendly and has free onsite healthcare staffed with doctors, nurse practitioners and lactation consultants.  One of the lactation consultants/family nurse practitioners listed on our internal website was a woman named Nancy Register.    Reaching out to her changed everything about my breastfeeding relationship with Bettie.  She responded to my emails enthusiastically and seemed very friendly and encouraging.  I made an appointment to see her.

I had no idea what to expect after my first lactation consultant experience.  I steeled myself for more bad news.  Nancy was so different.  First, she was so incredibly knowledgeable.  It was obvious that she was passionate about breastfeeding and helping moms and babies.  She answered all of my questions and made me feel so comfortable.  She actually touched Bettie and helped show me how to position her.  She showed me how to encourage Bettie to open her mouth wide to get a good latch.  She gave me so much good advice, and there in her office, Bettie latched and it was less excruciating, but still not great.

Just when I started to feel discouraged, Nancy explained that as a preemie, Bettie wasn't mature enough to have some of the same instincts that term babies have.  It was early January.  My due date was still a month away (February 7, 2009).  She explained that many preemies just "get it" around their due dates, and told me not to give up if this was something I felt like I wanted to do.  She encouraged me to keep trying.  It was also at that point that we decided that we wanted Nancy to be Bettie's pediatrician.